New Year, New Try

I keep saying I’m going to be more active with proper blogging/journaling, but then I toddle off to Discord and forget for months at a time because that’s where all the fandom fun is.

Things are good, though! Mostly. At the moment I’m a little under the weather, but otherwise there are good things happening!

  • My mental health is slowly improving. I haven’t felt depressed in a long time, but the anxiety is still a challenge, and the medication is still leaving me pretty knocked out most of the time. My physical health in general has sort of deteriorated a bit while I’ve been working out the medication side of things, but I think that will start to improve once I’ve found the right combination/dosage and then acclimated to that.
  • I have a new work-from-home job, as of this month. I’m not making anywhere near as much at this job as at my last one (it’s roughly the same amount of money per hour, but it’s less hours), but I’ll be making enough for now, and I am more than happy with that. Especially since it’s with a not-for-profit that provides a service I strongly support. I feel like I’m contributing to something really good, on top of paying my bills.
  • For years β€” probably over a decade β€” I could barely manage to finish reading a single book in a year, but in the last five months or so I’ve finished twelve and am working on three more. The voracious reader of my childhood has returned.

    Lately I’m really into classic lit. It all started with Dracula Daily last year (which will be starting again this year, if anyone wants to hop on board), and then I found the Serial Reader app and it’s allowed me to keep the Dracula Daily experience going with stories like Around The World In Eighty Days, The Great Gatsby, P. G. Wodehouse’s Jeeves series, A Christmas Carol, and so on. I also bought the full/premium version of the app (it’s a one-time payment of $3 USD) so I could load my own ebooks into it, read ahead when I feel like it, and enjoy some other perks.

    I’ve also read a few more recent books that I’d been meaning to get around to finishing. Some of them just so I could decide whether to keep them or not. A few of those ended up surprising me β€” I won’t say they were good books, but I enjoyed them and decided I wanted to keep them as Trashy Comfort Readsβ„’. Another one, though, is going to be shredded. Partly because it was just really badly written and stupid, partly because I found out one of the authors (a musician I used to follow) is someone I no longer wish to support, and partly because some water got spilled on it and it dried all wrinkly and stiff, so it probably wouldn’t get bought up if I donated it anyway. I’m not normally in favour of destroying books, but this one honestly would serve the world better if it was recycled into something new.
  • I’m making slow-but-steady progress on a lot of personal/domestic/hobby goals, as well. Figuring out a method for organising my life and tracking my progress that actually works for me has really been helping. For a while, my friend Lennora and I were really getting sucked in to paper planners, but I never really ended up using them. I still have them, they’re very pretty, but I couldn’t get myself into the habit of using them. What does seem to work for me, though, is a digital planner. I’m using Notion as mine. It’s super customisable and gives me a way to easily visually organise my scattered brain just by throwing down a bunch of concepts and slowly segmenting them into various categories and databases as I go along. And it’s cloud-based, so I can use it across all my devices. Ideally I’d like a more or less identical app that I could self-host, or at least something with a little more of a privacy focus, but for the moment this really does do everything I need it to do.
  • In general, making a project of getting away from corporate social media / internet and trying to make my internet use a lot more like it was back in the 90s and 2000s has been really fulfilling and helpful to my mental health. The only “big” social media I still do binge sessions on is Tumblr, and I’ve been dipping in and out of Mastodon lately as well. I really like the idea behind federated social media and I hope it takes off, although I feel like Mastodon (and other services it’s currently federating with) is more of a prototype / proof-of-concept than the actual Next Big Thing. But as Denise goes over on this post, I really think we’re going to need to push for some big legal changes before social media can truly be what we want it to be.

    In the meantime, though, there are small Discords for sharing fun fandom things with smaller groups of friends and fellow fen. At least until Discord gives in to greed and sends us scrambling for the next alternative chat program. Discord’s about as close to old-school IRC as I’m going to be able to get with my current social spheres, so I’m happy with that for now.

    Outside of that, though, I’ve been relying a lot more on RSS for things I want to follow. I have two different RSS reading systems that work for me: for anything I want to see every post of (particular tumblr users, webcomics, my friends’ twitter feeds thanks to a workaround that still appears to be working), I have those feeds set up in my Thunderbird client so I can read a daily digest of the things I really want to keep up with alongside my email. For other things I mostly just want to be able to dip into here and there at my leisure based on subject/headlines (blogs, news feeds, etc), I have the livemarks add-on installed on Firefox.

    (You should be using Firefox, too. :P)

    I also no longer use Spotify — I’ve gone back to just buying music and listening to my MP3s. When and where I can, I buy full albums on CD and rip them to my computer. For music discovery, I use YouTube or Bandcamp (the latter also being one of my main sources for buying music). Same thing with streaming television and film: wherever possible, I just buy DVDs or Blu Rays. If something is only available on a streaming service, I can usually just visit a friend who has that service and watch it with them. (Or I can find . . . other alternative solutions.)

    For audiobooks I have shunned Audible in favour of libro.fm, which gives you DRM-free versions of the audiobook you want while helping to support independent bookstores. I would be doing the same for print books via bookshop.org, but Bookshop isn’t available for my country yet, so I usually go with either eBay or a local retailer. Essentially, I’ll take any opportunity to divert money away from Amazon and its subsidiaries. I’m not fully boycotting Amazon because sometimes it’s literally the only place you can get a thing you need, but it’s become very, very rare for me to buy anything from them. Once or twice a year, maybe.

    Google’s also been largely snubbed by me. I use Sync.com for cloud storage and either Notion or Cryptpad for cloud-based document creation, depending on my needs. I have my own server host and domain for email (and multiple email addresses for multiple purposes, which makes organizing my email so much easier). I use Qwant for most of my search engine needs. YouTube’s about the only Google product I still regularly use in my personal life. For work it’s a different story, though: I do use Google products for work, because that’s what everyone’s using.

    Any opportunity I can take to thumb my nose at corporate greed in general in favour of giving money to people who are just trying to keep the lights on (including/especially artists), and/or people who are actively trying to make life and the internet better, I take it. And it’s made my own life a lot happier.

So, that’s how things are going, on the broad scale! I have a more recent “little bits of happy from the past couple of weeks” sort of list as well, but I’ll save that for my next post.

Oof that was a weird Memento Mori

I received an email from LiveJournal letting me know that I’d gotten a badge because my journal with them is, as of this past New Year’s Eve, officially 18 years old.

My old LJ is now old enough to vote. That . . . feels very strange.

Notably, I was 18 when I first registered the account, so my LiveJournal is also now officially half my age.

I don’t use my LiveJournal anymore, and haven’t since 2009ish. I posted a final message to it on New Year’s Eve, 2013 (its 10 year anniversary) to direct anyone who might stumble across it to my Dreamwith, then set all but that message and my very first post to Private and logged out for good. I sometimes think about logging back in just to delete all the posts that are set to Private, but I don’t want to have to agree to LJ’s “new” (since years ago) Terms of Service in order to do that.

(I also briefly logged in a couple of years ago just to change the password for security reasons. I was thankfully able to do that without accepting the TOS.)

If I wasn’t concerned about keeping a claim on my username over there, and about stubbornly holding on to an account I paid to get Permanent Account status on, I would probably delete it entirely. But since I am, it means I’m still going to get very occasional emails from them. At least, to my old gmail account that I don’t really use any more. πŸ˜†

It was also interesting to see the wording of the message:

“On this day, in 2003 you have registered in LiveJournal! Share this news with your friends!”

The awkward grammar tells me they probably don’t have an English-language office at all anymore. Not that this matters to me in any way, it just . . . is sort of interesting to see, considering LJ’s history.

It did at least get me thinking about my Dreamwidth and my website and journal again, though. I’ve kept putting off finishing the website largely because other projects keep taking priority, but also because I’m still crawling out of 2021’s depression-based lethargy and brain fog. I actually still have a couple of writing projects on the go that I need to get back to and finish before I’ll feel comfortable diving into working on my website again, but it’s the first time in a few months that I’ve felt really motivated to work on my website or do any journaling/blogging again.

I am hoping to get back to it this year. I don’t have high hopes that 2022 will look overly different from 2021 in terms of the pandemic or anything surrounding it, but I kind of feel hopeful about things slowly improving a little where my own mental health and goals are concerned. Aside from getting hit by a nasty bug (which may or may not have been COVID — I tested negative, but everyone else around me is now sick and showing suspiciously COVID-y symptoms. Won’t know for sure until my dad gets his test results, I suppose), I’ve had a fair bit more mental clarity and energy since being on the mend than I’ve had in months. Which still isn’t a lot, but is an improvement.

I really want to get to the point where I am merrily maintaining the majority of my public-facing internet presence and projects on my website(s), and journaling regularly again. I think it would help my mental health. Social media in its current form has not been good for my or anyone else’s mental health, and I’d like to return to the kind of internet life I had back before Facebook existed, because I know that made me happier. Discord, and the small communities I’ve been part of through it, has been helping a lot with that, but having a website and blog as my home base would help make up the other half of that enjoyment.

It just means doing a fair bit of CSS first. Haven’t been able to muster the patience for it yet. But I will. πŸ™‚